Ever since my “teenage-hood” days, I followed the assumption that befriending writers, filmmakers, sculptures and those who’re interested in arts and revolutionary books are necessarily people with free minds, and hence, are people who won’t disrespect me as a female or the way I chose to live my life. I was not only wrong, I was also simplistic.
Today, large number of these people who used to be my friends have become/are becoming my enemies, for they, as the masses, they begin their sentences with the same line a lot of sexist people do: “A woman should/shouldn’t be/do bla bla bla….”.
First I want to give you examples of how liberal women and men prove to be sexists as they’re trying to be free from “conservative” values. Some of these people consider themselves feminists, progressives, thinkers, and activists, pro women and LGTBQ rights.
7 Reasons Why I hate “Liberals”, “Seculars”” and “Progressives”:
1-A Syrian filmmaker once told me: “you should have sex, no woman should be virgin, you shouldn’t follow your fathers’ rules, you should be free”. These words were addressed to me at the time I was telling him that I don’t want to have sex with you, I cannot be home late, and I cannot see you everyday.
Freedom to this guy is so simple, his revolution consists of doing exactly the opposite of what the society tells you not to. Women are shackled because they cannot have sex, so they’re free once they do. I am shackled and subjected to my father’s rule if I came home by 10:30, and I am free from my father once I come home at 12, 1, 2, 3 AM.
It’s fine with me if that’s his idea of revolution, but it’s not OK with me to dictate me how should I live my life. It is not OK with me to push me and pressure me onto doing what you think is best for me, for I and only I, know what’s best for me, and your job is to shut up and listen.
It is not OK with me to make me feel like I am a slave to men because I chose to not have sex with you. It is not OK to decide for me when is coming home late and when it isn’t when I am the one who’s OK living with such situation. and it’s certainly not OK with me to listen to you telling me how you like women to be: sexually active and partying with you all night.
It’s really easy not be sexist, homophobic, racist or sectarian: you just have to have good ethics. I really believe that. I think a lot of people push themselves into other people’s business, and once they do, it’s clear that their own voice is more important than those they speak of and about. Think of how the media would change if each journalist would stop talking and bullshitting and start listening to indigenous people’s needs and to their own understanding of their reality.
Another example of liberal bullshit is when 2-A Lebanese filmmaker once told me, that when a woman decides to wear the veil she is by doing so offending him and insulting him, that she is hiding her body from him because she assumes he is an animal. He said that women should dress less because that’s when they show their respect and trust to men. He also said that a woman who wears the veil is a stupid woman, or to put it in his exact words: “with no brains”.
Here to be liberal is to be against religion and religious people.
Notice how liberal minds work: to be liberal is not to be a conservative-assuming not having sex, coming home “early” and being religious, are signs of being a conservative. The conservative to liberals is the person who does the expected, the familiar, the known. “Conservatives” are boring, that is.
It’s very important to notice that it is not the “attitude” the liberals have towards people who don’t adopt liberal values that’s problematic and hypocritical, but the “logic” per se, for it’s the condescending liberal logic that’s producing such condescending attitude.
The 3rd example is when my Lebanese ex-boyfriend told me that I should leave my parents and live with him, if I don’t want to live with him that’s OK, but I should leave my parents. Parents are the worse thing ever happened to children. Children become free once they live alone. The same guy told me a year later that I should have sex with my girlfriend because I should experience sex with females. He kept saying for 20 minutes what I should do. I was clear that I wasn’t comfortable with having sex in hotel rooms and during noon. It is really a weird fucked up feeling when you’re put in a situation that you should explain yourself to people. I was practically defending my right not to have sex when I don’t want to. But to some liberals, sex is the taboo you should seek breaking it, just for the heck of it.
4-A Syrian expatriate once told me that I should not accept my father’s rule of being home at 10:30. He said that I am 29 years old now, I should set my own rules and that I should defy my father. He wouldn’t be on this list and on this post if he stopped talking when I said: “I am OK with it”.
5-A gay female foreigner said to me with a surprise : “you get home by 10:30? you don’t stay late at night on the weekends?” Any woman who does not stay out late at night is considered shackled and subjected to masculine rules to these progressive people. How cool are they, how liberated, and how boring and backward of me, for not staying with her till 3 AM in Damascus. You’re free and cool and part of the advanced progressive global community, if you, like them, follow rules set by the advanced progressive countries.
6-An Arab blogger at the Arab bloggers conference asked me how could a woman like me who’s not veiled supports Hamas and Hezballa. He asked me if I am OK with the Islamic state, I said yes I am [since no one really knows what that is, we just know what the modern Islamic state looks like, and I have a problem with modernity not Islam]. It was a surprise for him, that a woman who is not veiled and who drinks alcohol and supportive of freedom of gender difference and gender rights can also be supportive of Islamic resistance. This blogger doesn’t live in the region, so I guess I can understand why he was so surprised. But still, liberal minds just amaze me with their simplicity.
7-Finale example, a guy kissed me on the mouth out of nowhere, I said no, he left. I was pissed at him when he took off so I told him online that not only you had no right to kiss me with no romantic vibes in the air, but you also left and did not respect my wishes nor take the responsibility of your volunteered actions, with which you invaded my personal space. You came to fuck me and left when you couldn’t. He said: “I have the right to kiss you, and you have the right to refuse”.
What can you possibly say to this guy? Men have the right to kiss women, and women, all they can do is accept or decline this romantic action forced on them. Women are not part of that very decision, to be kissed, they’re just part of fulfilling it or not.
This reminds me of the power implemented in sexual intercourse itself, it’s the penis that enters, and the vagina that receives. This sexual mechanism is reflected in men and women’s attitude towards each other in many ways: dating, relationships, marriage..etc. The man enters a woman’s space, a woman accepts or refuses. Same with sexual harassment, which is my reading to this guy’s action above who kissed me uninvited. This idea of the power implemented in sexual intercourse is to be discussed in some other post.
To me, these are examples of sexist, dictator and fascist Liberalism. A person who believes in social traditions and habits does not respect a woman who drinks, who has an active sex life and who stays out late at night. These liberal people above follow the same logic, some don’t not respect women’s choice to wear the veil and belittle their reason when doing so, some do not respect and acknowledge women’s right not to have sex when they choose not to. Some don’t respect women’s right not to defy masculine rules when they choose not to. To them, to liberals, a woman should follow western, I mean “universal” values of being a free woman: wearing less clothes, drinking alcohol, eating pork, having sex and partying all night long on the weekends.
There are really a lot of examples to liberal bullshit, I will write about Arab liberal politics soon, which won’t be nice at all.